


No Suit, Skin

by citizenjess (givehimonemore)



Category: seaQuest
Genre: Bad Taste, Crack, M/M, Rape/Non-con References
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-23
Updated: 2013-03-23
Packaged: 2017-12-06 04:19:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/731375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/givehimonemore/pseuds/citizenjess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Vocoder technology may open up an unwanted can of worms, or whatever it is that dolphins eat.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Suit, Skin

**Author's Note:**

> Written circa-2009. I got into a spot of trouble for what seems to mostly be my ill-worded original authors' notes, which, I suppose, appeared to gloat over how several key members of the cast of the show have all passed on. As one might expect, this did not make people inclined to find the 'fic itself funny, regardless of the intentions for it to simply be silly crack. I AM sincerely sorry for the original AN. On the other hand, I am still working on my taste for poor jokes; and yet, I do want to point out that there is an episode of "King of the Hill" involving an amorous dolphin, for which I suspect Mike Judge is not swimming in hate mail. /tl;dr

Bridger looked skeptically at the device in Lucas' hand. "So this thing lets us understand what Darwin's saying?" he asked.

"This 'thing' will," Lucas smirked, all teenager, all attitude. It didn't help that he was a genius, where the smugness was actually warranted, of course.

Bridger rolled his eyes. "Sorry, the Vocoder," he corrected, watching Lucas fiddle with the device. A splash turned his attention to the water. "How are you doing, Darwin?" he asked the dolphin, relieved to see something familiar in the midst of so much newness. He'd been a self-elected hermit for nearly a decade, and had come on board the seaQuest DSV not entirely by choice. Quite frankly, the sheer amount of people around to interact with was getting to him.

Darwin let out a brief trill. *RAPE*, the Vocoder translated, crackling. *RAAAAPE.*

Bridger blinked. "It must be some mistake," he said with a short laugh, tossing a dirty look in Darwin's direction nonetheless.

*NO SUIT, SKIN*

Lucas fiddled with the device. "It's ... weird," he said, mostly to himself. "I haven't ... programmed that in yet ..."

*RAAAAPE*

Lieutenant Krieg's entrance made Bridger and Lucas both look up. "Hey, kid, got those parts you wanted ..." he began, then squinted at the Vocoder. "What's that thing?" he pointed.

"What parts?" Bridger asked suspiciously.

Krieg coughed. "Parts, what parts," he said absently, then yanked the remote out of Lucas' grip. "Pretty swanky," he said, and whistled through his teeth.

"Be careful with that!" Lucas yelled. "It's really high-tech!"

"Really?" Krieg's eyes were already dancing with dollar signs. Then Darwin bleated again (*RAAAAPE*), and he nearly dropped the Vocoder. Lucas wrenched it away with a glare, just before it hit the water. If only, Bridger thought sullenly.

*NO MEANS NO ... RAAAAPE ...*

"Dude, I think something happened to that dolphin," Krieg announced.

"I think something did," Lucas agreed, frowning pointedly at Bridger. The Vocoder translated something involving the penetration of Darwin's blowhole.

Bridger crossed his arms, dignity waning. "I don't think ... that dolphins were ever meant to communicate with humans," he said decidedly, and then stomped off.


End file.
